RyanKenward.com

I have to disagree though I can think of plenty things that aren’t cool with an LCD.

I’ve compiled a list to prove my point.

10 things still not cool even if they had LCDs
1.)  Cancer
2.) Cheetahs (sure they’re cool until they’re eating your insides out)
3.) LCDs (LCDs with LCDs… not cool)
4.) Urinals
5.) McDonald’s value meal (the food part, who would eat an LCD?)
6.) Taxes (uncool no matter what you do.)
7.) Sega Game Gear (Had an LCD, still sucked)
8.) Paris Hilton (Don’t get me wrong, I think she’s hot (though dumb) but an LCD would detract)
9.) Fudgigles (Yes, that’s correct spelling… Little kids all ready ruin expensive things with these)
10.) AIDs (Piggy backing on cancer, AIDs still sucks with an LCD)

In this weeks Episode Aaron and Ryan discuss what they’ve been playing the past week.  The new Star Wars: Force Unleashed Demo on XBox 360 and take a trip down memory lane at old Star Wars games.  Things suddenly take a turn South of crazy when a secret guest stops in on the Game Seers!

THEGAMINGSEERS.COM

Things have never been the same,
Not since that day.

You say you’re happy now,
But I can feel you’re not.

You say you’re future is bright,
But I can see the darkness from miles away.

You say that I’m not funny,
But I make many people laugh every day.

You say I’m not spontaneous,
But I’m still the only guy I know who called in sick and drove 6 hours away to New York City.

We don’t know each other,
How many days since September 26 2005?

1,062.

I beg to differ.

In this Episode of Game Seers Aaron and Ryan are joined by special guest Joe Wesolowski, he’s an ambitious young chap full of ambition from the heart land of America - Bennington, Ny.  We discuss Gears of War, Civilization Revolution, Call of Duty 4, Skate, Mega Man 9, and Dead Space in our gaming related subjects.  We also talk briefly about the graphic novel and upcoming movie Watchmen, and the recently released Hulk movie.  Oh yeah, and we talk about a monkey raping a frog!  Please join us in this weeks episode of game seers!

www.thegamingseers.com

(also on iTunes, look up game seers)

- Ryan

I want to save the world,

I wish I could save one person,

I can’t even save myself.

Well several months later I finally got my hands on a bootleg Korean copy of the latest Indiana Jones flick. What… the… fuck… I don’t even know where to begin on this one. First of all it takes place only ten years after the last one, the problem with that is over 25 years have passed since then and it shows on all the characters’ faces. So all ready I’m not into it I can’t get beyond the fact that a super old Indy is trying to play the same game he used to play when in fact he could break into pieces at any moment. Secondly, aliens!? Come the fuck on George.

This man needs to be stopped!

Okay, God melting Nazis.
Fine, century year old holy knights.

Not okay, fucking aliens!

Here’s my reaction

Seriously, first Star Wars then Indiana Jones. What is next? The Labyinth part 2 with nine million year old David Bowie? Please stop the madness!

Another week done.  (work week)  166 days left in Korea.  Whew.  Now I have 4 days off, which is awesome.  I am going to read, research mutual funds and probably open up a new account to do them, watch the stock market more - my stocks are down (not as bad as some peoples though), continue to write, sleep, watch movies, sleep, play video games, sleep.  I don’t know, maybe take a trip to Seoul.  I am going to Daegu at the end of the month for 2 days to visit my ROK army friend Lee there.  That should be a good trip :-)  Just finished my ab / pushup thing.  Should be a good way to go.  I didn’t run like I was going to, I was too tired.  Tomorrow I will burn 300 calories doing cardio (maybe more) - I guess that is all for now.  Oh Game Seers Episode 6 with a special guest probably recording tomorrow.  That’s all I’ve got… Andy Kaufman lives!

- Ryan

Fitness Related:
2 sets of 50 flutter kicks on a 4 count before bed as well as 50 crunches before bed (every day)
30 inclined pushups before bed (every day)
1.5 mile run (Tuesdays and Fridays)
30 minutes cardio (Wednesdays and Saturdays)
Increase tea consumption (I don’t drink nearly as much as I used to, back up to 3 cups a day)
Eat healther, consume less calories

Money:
Work on more balanced savings plans, 35 % stock, 35% mutual funds, 30% savings (probably at least 700 / month)
No debt (hooray)

Personal objectives:
Finish my screen play, revisit my old half completed screen play
Continue to work on producing Game Seers Podcast (Back to every Wednesday release schedule)
Get dad’s website together for his business
Take a vacation (Possible destinations -  Hawaii, Japan, Alaska, other near by Asian countries)
Complete my damn CDCs for 5 level
Survive 168 more days of Korea
Watch more movies
Play video games to the end before getting any new ones
More photography trips around in Korea
Buy my sister Grace a laptop for college
If at all possible find happiness

That’s all I can think of.
- Ryan

15 pages down, which is actually a lot since the film will not be very driven by dialog but more by visualizations and ambience.

Side note:
If I could pick anyone to be the female lead I’d pick Sarah Carter

Saw her in Smallville.

All though the lead female dies within the first 12 pages which is probably about 20 minutes into the film.

- Ryan

So I completed the first 24 hours of my 3 day fast but I had to cut it short as I was reminded I have a physicall fitness evaluation in the next few days.  After that I’ll likely start again.

Fast Day 1, originally uploaded by ryankenward.

Taking time to notice the little details.

In lieu of a lot of things going on in my life, a lot of changes, some for better and some for worse - I’ve decided to take some drastic actions to regain productivity and creativity.  Effective immediately I am beginning a 3 day fast.  I will not consume anything but water, tea, and one multivitamin a day.  I will use this time to reflect on things that have come and passed, also to work on my new script.  I really believe what I am working on now may be the best thing I’ve ever written.  I am also going to work into this time period meditation, music (writing/playing), and some light yoga to stand in for conventional exercise.  Stay tuned.

- Ryan

After a month and a day Episode V is finally out! In this Episode Aaron and Ryan discuss Call of Duty 4 for the XBox 360, and Blast Works for Wii. Then they spend the remaining hour and a half discussing some of their favorite funny moments in high school. If you don’t laugh for at least 30 minutes you’re a robot!

thegamingseers.com

I am nothing more than a shadow, nothing less than alien and nothing more than human.  I’m at times a nihilistic jerk, and other times a compassionate selfless being who would sacrifice anything and everything for practically any other human who wasn’t me.  Sometimes I think why bother.  I speak in such ways that I’m likely to be criticized as some self indulgent prick who cares more about himself than others, but the reality of the matter is that this could be no further from the truth.  Money, material, status - none of these things mean anything to me when I collapse alone after another bout with insomnia and finally give in to exhaustion.  I want to change the world, and I want to be far away from the world.  The most beautiful things are creation and destruction.  I find it hard to communicate, it is frustrating and people will only think less of me so I tend to avoid it all.  I am a truly a martian, for some odd reason or another I was forced to come here.  I want to create beauty and give as much of it to the world as possible and then when the world stops looking, simply step out and go back off into outer space to wherever I came from.  People will absolutely misunderstand my meaning by this but what else is new.  I doubt I’ve ever been this open publically or ever will be again for that matter.  Take what you can, leave the rest.

I am so uninspired, blah…   I just cannot seem to spark any creativity in me anymore.  It is frustrating but all at the same time I just don’t care.  I guess I am just discontented with how much disarray my life has had the kindness of snowballing into.  There are eight hundred forty six possibly variations that could have taken place to avoid this present state.  None of them were really that possible anyway.  While some good things do shine in my life, they’re far too far away.  There must be some solution.  If only my brain would work as well as it used to.

To be great is to be misunderstood.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you die you’re completely happy and your soul somewhere lives on. I’m not afraid of dying. Total peace after death, becoming someone else is the best hope I’ve got.
- Kurt Cobain

Written 2 March 2006

And if this ship goes down I’m riding it to the ocean floor.  I’ll write a novel of the obvious and title it something clever, like the trials and tribulations of life inside your mind.  As the pages turn the words will burn into the back of your eyes and stick with you and haunt you yet; you won’t even realize what they mean or why they are powerful - you’ll just be beat into submission.  The story goes like any other with obvious developments along the way but the subplot is a dark and twisting tale involving a multifaceted layer of emotions and actions.  The hole in the roof is getting bigger and the rain keeps falling on my head as the hour grows late and I’m staring at the walls again.  The perfectly preserved memories crystalized into a tangible manifestation of a time not so far away, just lingering on the tips of your fingers like it had never really left.   Night lost its edge when we walked hand in hand through the intimidating shadows of architectural wonders, those are the nights that will always be with me.

Written 1 March 2006
The Great Gatsby - as I would have written the ending

And so Gatsby and Daisy went off into the world hand in hand.  He remembered the first summer day he saw Daisy’s beautiful face and then the day he fell in love with her.  His dream he had fought so hard to attain had now come true.  He knew that the perilous journey that nearly had destroyed him was now over and well worth the risk.  Gatsby believed in the love he had for her, that filled his heart with joy.  Though we did not see it, he was happiest when he was alone with her and nothing could ever compare - but alas, we know it all now.   So time will pass, and challenges will come and go regardless; the bond that’s been forged no man nor thing could ever undo.

I need to find creativity again.

RAM upgrade, originally uploaded by ryankenward.

wishing wendys was in korea, originally uploaded by ryankenward.

this and several other exciting photographs from mudfest 2008 now available on my flickr page.  (I’d rather go gray than bald)

If I am because I think - if I don’t think am I not?

I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.
Kurt Cobain

I am so reluctant to write anything at all, but in lieu of nothing better to do I guess I will try to give the most watered down version of the current musings lingering in my mind.  If you were to meet me say, in March you would have met a terribly optimistic person - fast forward to today and you’ll find I’m incredibly cynical and extremely introverted.  I am a mystery to myself.  It seemed like I had such a definitive plan and such vivid dreams for my future all of which washed away like the aftermath of some atrocious storm.  By no means do I require, nor desire sympathy - and if people understand me it is of little consequence.  I find myself spiraling downward into a region where I simply just don’t care about much of anything.  In spite of all that has transpired I do vehemently aspire to be more positive but it seems like I just can’t shake this.  I’ve always been one to hang just around the edge of everyone else, never emerging myself into the mundane with the fervency of the majority of people whom I in some regards I admire and in others, find myself scorning them.  I have a constant case of home sickness, and not because of where I am in the world but just because I am in the world.  I feel other worldly so frequently and alien that I give pause for a moment just to recall that even with all of my differences I still am human, capable of all the same emotions - yet for some reason, that capacity is rarely realized.  Nonetheless, I am here - for what purpose is beyond my scope of understand and what direction my life will go is entirely unpredictable.  Its extremely ironic how much things change in such a short period of time.  I don’t change, just everything around me does…

His eyes rapidly scanned the black and white checkered board behind the safety of the dark colored sun glasses. “Check mate” he said coolly with a faint smirk, “good game.”  His opponent looking rather defeated held out his hand in approval of his defeat, quietly rose to his feet and gave pause for only a moment before quietly stepping away into oblivion.  The victorious chess player grimaced as he drank from his cup and brooded over his seemingly all too simple yet eloquent victory.  “The victory isn’t sweet anymore and neither is the taste of wine, the air does not fill my lungs with satisfaction nor does my heart pump any more love for this wretched place.”  He continued to think over his situation for a moment longer before abruptly rising.  He gave a final rushed glance about the room and fluidyly took the blue pill down with another swig of ale - “Check mate” he said grinning to himself.  His body writhed and convulsed for only a moment before hitting the ground like a meteor falling from space.  “A champion of what?” - the final thought to echo in his mind and stretching outward beyond the vast grip of infinity.

Just because you’re paranoid, don’t mean they’re not after you.

I really need to stop being an insomniac.