- and now you know!

I finally got around to seeing the Dark Knight after hearing people rave over how batastic it was for weeks, and let me say… unimpressed. To be fair, I’ve never been a fan of batman – he’s always been a rich toy boy pussy to me who would get his ass whipped by Spiderman or Wolverine any day of the week – however, I found him to be extremely gay in this movie.

For starters lets just take a look at this.

Smoking isn’t that cool, and when you sound like you have throat cancer it’s a good time to quit. No one is intimidated by the guy with throat cancer they just say, “this dude has throat cancer let’s punch him in the neck and then run because he’ll get tired quickly.” This was probably one of the biggest things to ruin the movie for me, the horrible bat voice. What the fuck.

Second, how about this?

Keep in mind this isn’t the actual bat motorcycle from the movie, but an artist rendition of it – the artist just happens to be me. No one is scared by a big wheel, not even the wimpy kid with asthma on the play ground is quaking in his LA lights (do kids still wear these?)

Third and final.
Batman is loved and adored by children all over the world (not me as a children and not my brothers as children I’ve set them straight) – how is this a problem? Well would you want your kids watching this movie? They made toys for the movies and other kiddie related things but at the end of the day I wouldn’t let any one under 19 watch this movie. It’s the darkest thing of all time – now that doesn’t make it a bad movie, but for what I expect of batman to be it does.

Overall, it wasn’t a horrible movie – it was watchable, kind of… when Bruce Wanye wasn’t batman although Christian Bale is kind of teh suck as an actor anyway. This is definitely not a movie I’ll ever get bored one day and say to myself, I guess I’ll watch the dark knight. I have the first 4 seasons of Smallville on DVD for that.

Flame on (a saying by a real hero)
- Ryan