The weekend spent along the banks of Lake Loch Ness was well worth the cost. Friday evening I took a personal flight upon the back of a mystical dragon to the lake. The voyage across the Atlantic was awe inspiring yet somewhat terrifying because this dragon was either a bit slow or quite possibly somewhat intoxicated. At any rate, we finally arrived just as the sun was setting over the glistening and pristine lake. Before giving the dragon the proper amount I owed him he stumbled into a few near by cottages and completely demolished them. Due to this and a somewhat perilous journey I only gave him 5 Canadian dollars and a hand full of magic beans, though not happy he understood my decision (I’ve also been informed today that he has joined up with DAA – Dragon Alcoholics Anonymous) and is on the way to recovery. After setting up camp and getting the fire going I sprawled out under the stars in hopes that my good friend Nessie would arrive in time for a late night supper. Nessie does not disappoint, she arrived in high spirits as we shared a meal in the warm Scottish night. She told me of her recent run ins with various anti-Nessie organizations and how those whom I am affiliated with in the most secret society around to protect Nessie had been so wonderful to her. We spent the evening regaling each other with many wondrous and enchanting stories until the sun began to rise. I shook Nessie’s flipper, gave her a big hug and then waved as she sank beneath the dark waves of the Loch. Since I was not overly pleased with my voyage back, I began to travel the Scottish countryside in search of a way home. After only a miles journey I met Ralph the unicorn who agreed to take me home at a very reasonable price. So I set up my saddle on Ralph’s back in a flash we were on our way. A rainbow road appeared beneath his hooves in the sky as I made my way across the Atlantic once again. We arrived at my house around 6:45PM EST; I paid him, thanked him for his service and in an instant he was off on his way once again and I was home. I certainly had a wonderful time.

Yours Truly,
Ryan T Kenward.