I had finally returned from my long vacation only to come home to an ungrateful tribe. I had enough! I disowned them and went into exile. Since then I have been living underneath a bridge living off the land and the drippings from the ceiling. What an ironic twist. I am writing this now from a broken down apple IIE that I modified to have the internet. If you want to donate money to my cause I can give you a place to send it.
-Ryan