It was a bright and sunny day, come to think of it – it was Thursday, when young Little Karl Schalkovski arose from his slumber. His fat little face squinted as he tried to see his thick black glasses on the floor by his bed while is chubby little paw pushed away the dozens of candy bar wrappers and half eaten bags of doritos.

“Got them.” Yawned Karl with a resounding hint of satisfaction.

His hoagie shaped right foot touched the floor first with his left foot close behind, just as close to him as he was to whomever was in front of him in line at the buffet. I wonder what adventure I’ll find today. He walked to his dresser and took out a red and white stripped shirt, sized triple X L and then a pair of brown trousers. Karl Schalkovski was just like any other obese polish child his age, he didn’t change his underwear nor did he feel the need to shower before going out and exploring.

“Mooooooommmmmm!”, cried Karl.

“Yessssssss Karl?”, inquired a voice from another room.

“Moooooooommmmm, can I have twenty dollarsssssss?”, asked Karl.

“Sure honnie, you can take twenty from my purse on the kitchen table” she answered.

“Awesome!” exclaimed Karl.

He pushed open the door only to meet the intense morning sun and the sound of a small suburban town in the morning. Lawn mowers buzzed and car horns sounded, but none of this seemed to capture Karl’s attention. He rubbed his eyes repeatedly as he saw something furry in the back lawn. He saw what appeared to be a rabbit but something was unusual about it… he couldn’t tell if it was standing in front of a stick that had fallen from the tree or if perhaps it was something more. He came closer and to his surprise the creature did not move. Closer and closer he crept until the creature turned towards him and came clearly into his focus.

“Well aren’t you going to say hello?” said the creature with a British accent.

The little boy screamed and waddled back to the house to regain his composure. He hid for a moment behind the corner of the house then peeked out to the creature still sitting in the same place, looking back at him. For some reason Karl went back to the creature, perhaps it was the sheer intrigue of the creature or that his mommy drank like a horse every night during her pregnancy but at any rate he found himself standing just feet away from the furry little guy.

“I hope we can be civil now sir, that was rather unexpected and rude of you to run off like that” said the creature.

“Oh I’m sorry… what… who… are you?” asked Karl.

“Why my dear child, haven’t you ever seen any of my relatives?”
- Shaking Head
“I’m a jackalope!” he exclaimed.
“A what?”
“A jackalope, a mythological creature – a rabbit with antlers, my name is Fluffy.” he stated.
“Oh my name is Karl, I’ve never seen a talking jackalope before… in fact I’ve never seen a talking animal” replied Karl.
“Well, this is your lucky day boy not only am I a rare creature who can speak fluent English but I grant wishes!” exclaimed Fluffy.
“You grant wishes!?”
“Why yes, and I will grant one for you today! What would you like, take your time think of anything!”
“I want a cobra commander action figure with karate chop action!”
“You spent less than one second thinking of that wish… are you a bit daffy? Surely that isn’t what you want.”
“You’re right!” he paused, “a cobra commander action figure with karate chop action made of solid gold!”
“You’ve got to be kidding…” he paused waiting for some sign “alright then kid here you go.”
“Yessssssssss!” shouted Karl with excitement.

Just then the jackalope bounced as high as he could into the air and vanished in a rainbow blast of light. Karl was so preoccupied by his latest toy that he didn’t notice. Karl ran down the street as fast as his chubby little body could sustain the gravity but he tripped over a stick and the cobra commander action figure launched into the air, he saw it in slow motion as it came back down and fell into the sewer. He was crushed, but just then the bells of the ice cream truck sounded out and he remembered he had twenty bucks.

“Awesomeeeeeee.” said Karl.