Yet here I am, bravely battling the world of sleep deprivation to bring you all some fascinating insight into the world of Ryan Kenward. Unfortunately, that world is relatively compressed as of late as my attention shifts strictly to one person. I’ve vanished off the face of the earth to some people, nearly on the verge of fading into legend until I went out today and met with some of my good old friends. I’ve missed them and was glad to see them. I was just moving my car because I had decided I would go to Fredonia with some friends when the one who makes me feel butterflies and silly lame things like that called my cellular telephone (because I am a man with the times and talk on my phone more than a girl). We agreed I would go out with my friends tonight and we would rendezvous later on. However, this trip was not extremely productive and quite long in length. Unfortunately I did not arrive home until 2:30 AM and that person had long since fallen asleep. On the way home I nearly nailed a deer going 75… that would have sucked. Thank god for Ryan Kenward-like reflexes or things could have been ugly… Chances are both my car and the deer would have exploded on impact. Neons aren’t good at smashing things… I know, I’ve done it. My poor little 2001 Neon would have been a heap of scrap and that deer would have been a dismembered creature with its entrails and intestines hanging from tree limbs… Yuck. That was the visual that came up in my mind the exact instant I saw the deer before doing some tricky maneuvering to avoid the bastard. While I personally do not enjoy hunting because I hate the cold, and also being in trees in the cold – I hope the hunters kill about 80% of the moronic creatures because they are my only fear while driving. They are like the dumb little kid in class who gets in trouble and ruins it for everyone – any animal that can be hunted should be shot and killed. Too bad we can’t have an open season for ignorant cocky bastard people who are virtually clueless as well (or even if they would just cross the road in front of my car while doing 55+ MPH that wouldn’t be so bad either), but one thing at a time. I went to KFC and it was the shit. I guess that was the good thing about Fredonia. I had some humorous observations I made today as well I was planning on sharing but the ones I remember are too offensive to put here and the others I’ve forgotten so without further delay I am going to sleep. Love you all, with the exception of maybe 4 people.
- Ryan