Against all of my sense of reason and logic I decided to at least open myself up for talk after being very closed off – go figure, it was just an ego trip likely to see if she could get me to crack and talk… well done.  These games have gone on far too long.  What would her worthless replacement for me think about this whole mess? Fuck it. My stomach feels like its on fire, I haven’t had this feeling in several years.  I guess I’m not good enough to be happy.