- and now you know!

I am nothing more than a shadow, nothing less than alien and nothing more than human.  I’m at times a nihilistic jerk, and other times a compassionate selfless being who would sacrifice anything and everything for practically any other human who wasn’t me.  Sometimes I think why bother.  I speak in such ways that I’m likely to be criticized as some self indulgent prick who cares more about himself than others, but the reality of the matter is that this could be no further from the truth.  Money, material, status – none of these things mean anything to me when I collapse alone after another bout with insomnia and finally give in to exhaustion.  I want to change the world, and I want to be far away from the world.  The most beautiful things are creation and destruction.  I find it hard to communicate, it is frustrating and people will only think less of me so I tend to avoid it all.  I am a truly a martian, for some odd reason or another I was forced to come here.  I want to create beauty and give as much of it to the world as possible and then when the world stops looking, simply step out and go back off into outer space to wherever I came from.  People will absolutely misunderstand my meaning by this but what else is new.  I doubt I’ve ever been this open publically or ever will be again for that matter.  Take what you can, leave the rest.