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Well, I’m having a bit of a slow day so I thought I’d share some of the gadgets I have and frequently travel with.
Sony Ericsson W810i
* 2 Mega Pixel Digital Camera
* MP3 / FM Radio
* Cell Phone (Obviously)
* Mobile E-mail
Dell Inspiron 6000
* 1.73 GHz Intel Centrino Processor
* 512 MB RAM
* DVD+RW Drive
* ATI Graphics
* 40 Gb Hard Drive
(Also I always have a USB thumb drive, and a blue tooth USB adapter)
Sony DSC-S40
* 4 Mega Pixel
Once upon a time, it was a day like any other day that quickly turned into a dark and stormy night. Sitting before a bright CRT monitor was champion MMORPG legend Milo Ferris gazing vacantly at the screen as he furiously tapped keys on the keyboard and violently moved his mouse about on it’s dirty crud covered mouse pad. Milo Ferris, a legend – as he referred to himself, was a portly 28 year old balding man who lived with his 63 year old mother. He often dined on pizza hot pockets and quenched his legendary thirst with cans of generic cola. The room around him was in disarray, clothes, Frito (please don’t sue me Frito company, think of it as free advertisement) bags, and video game magazines. He was working on leveling up his level 48 elven bard on his new favourite multiplayer online game, working so hard in fact he had not moved from his seat in several days. In his youth he dreamed of being a NASA astronaut but the wear and tear of years slowly washed away his dreams. The only sounds audible in the room were that of rapid key tapping and the slurping of his generic soda, until abruptly a high pitched shrill came out of his beach ball shaped head – “ahhhhhhhhhhhh!” He watched in agony as his precious bard fell to the virtual ground dead, he had lost all of his gold and his favourite sword. It was a player versus player defeat, the victor – a level 42 ogre warrior played unbeknownst to Milo by 12 year old Johnny O’Dool. Milo let out a massive war cry and stood up furious, he rose to his feat so fast a cloud of dust fell off of him. He vowed he would find this person who killed him in his digital life and make him pay. He put on a bright yellow triple XL rain coat and a pair of ten dollar boots. He stepped out of his room for the first time in several weeks, and stepped out into the rain. He managed to make it eleven steps out of his house before – BOOM! He was struck by lightning! The legend, now a true legend – is rumored to haunt cyber space killing all fantasy-medieval level 41 ogre warriors upon advancing to level 42.
The end.
Twas the week before Christmas and capitalist America thought – let’s go out shopping, why the fuck not? With keys in hand and money in pocket, an angry mob set out to spoil Christmas. Their children all under the watchful eye of elderly and homely baby sitters as they sped down the through way and towards the mall. And then arose such a clatter, a rowdy crowd scattered punching, kicking and screaming (and even a few biting) to get their brand new Nintendo Wiis and Play Station Threes. A flash of light and a loud boom signaled the sign of a gun shot being fired in the sky, “now get the fuck out” said the man with the lazy eye “we’re all sold out so you can just go home!” This answer did not please the mob, violence ensued and it seemed that nothing would ever stop it. Up up in the sky was a Japanese guy, a left over from WW2 flying a zero. Boom boom boom as he dropped the bombs, and the crowd disbursed. Those who still had limbs and their lives went to their home to be with their families, realizing that Christmas is not about silly expensive gifts or even mauling the weaker species for this years hot gift – it is being at home with the family you love, safe from bombs.
Getting in the Christmas spirit… yay.
- Ryan Kenward
