It’s amazing to look back and see how much more active I used to be with this sort of thing, blogging, making creative content, so on and so forth and how much more interaction I used to get and how many more views I used to get… not much anymore.  I guess going into the Air Force has changed my life quite a bit, and in a sense has made me more boring.  I don’t have the ability to do the things I used to and everything I do now is classified.  So…

I am currently living on an army base in Sierra Vista, Az (Ft. Huachuca) – it is pretty remote out here in the southern part of the state on the border of Mexico surrounded by mountains.  For the most part the weather is perfect, the scenery is gorgeous and the people are nice.  There isn’t much out here and that really doesn’t bother me too much.  The thin air sucks quite a bit for running but the three mile battalion run last Friday went fine for me.  I certainly miss home, and I certainly miss Claire (oops) – always on my mind.  I am coming home for Thanksgiving which I am looking forward to very much.  I am progressing very well through my training here and am hoping to graduate early.  Then I get my leave before going to Korea for a year… blah.  So many things on my mind and so many things I don’t know how to say.  My life is far from where I ever thought it would be… Oh well…  I guess that’s all… I need sleep now.

-Ryan

It’s been quite a while since I’ve written anything… Oops. I still don’t have very much to say… I’m missing a lot of things lately, one thing above the rest…

-Ryan

Another week down. I like to think of them as crushing a bug, unfortunately when you crush a bug you still have many more to go… upside obviously being you killed that disgusting little bastard and you won’t have to see it again. I’m tired, did I mention that? The only thing I really need to do today is send my old phone out as I sold it on EBay for $150.00 and then go see the new Harry Potter movie. I will probably then proceed to the mall and buy something I don’t need but won’t spend that much money on it – I’m thinking about doing some podcasting stuff again just in my free time on the weekends… I don’t really have shit to say but then again I didn’t back then either. I probably can just improvise, I’d like to shoot for like 35 minutes or so. I need to find another good bull shitter on base who can talk about nothing for a long time and accomplish nothing aside from making people laugh. My foot itches, fuck. Well, I’m clearly a shining beacon of all that is good in the blogosphere right now by the unorganized thoughts being laid out so rather than continue on I guess I will wisely resign myself from this now and come back to it another time.

Good night, or good morning I guess?
- Ryan

Ps.) The new phone is awesome, keep an eye on my moblog.

It’s 3:30 AM, I’m tired and I know I have to get up relatively early but here I am typing away. Things have been rather up and down lately, but I’m hoping it is all going to level out. I decided to not purchase the iPhone and just grabbed a Sony Ericsson K790a (the phone James Bond totes around in Casino Royale) – a $350.00 purchase. My Sony Ericsson W810i is for sale on ebay – check it out. I definitely loved my walkman phone but just felt like getting something new, not many people in the US have a K790a. Money is still going into savings so I feel comfortable with a minor splurge. Well, as previously mentioned I am quite tired so I guess I will leave it at that.

Good night,
- Ryan

All of the start/stop, end/begin things in the story of my life seem to have come to a halt. I’m not quite sure what one does when the only thing they were working for isn’t there anymore, but I certainly wish I did have an answer. When I look at my life in retrospect I can see where everything went the opposite way I had intended by the question of why still has yet to be answered… I’m so far away and all I want is to be close. I’m not allowed to be weak.