If the road to hell is paved with good intentions I am going to have a super highway in no time.

I woke up and was in a bit of a bad mood so I went for I walked, as I walked the mood passed and now I feel wonderful. Today will be a fantastic day. It is everything I could have asked for. It is a beautiful day, I’ve found a renewed feeling of energy to carry on and be okay. Things can be twisted depending on perspectives, if it important for me to remember this and all people as well. Each person has their own sense of truth – however, this does not make it truth. If I feel I am the luckiest man alive, and to me that is my truth – then I am delusional, clearly I am not that lucky. I live in a small apartment, do not have substantial money, and have a lot of things that need to be ironed out in my life. The point is, it takes a much bigger and wiser person to be above it all and sort fact from fiction, reality from delusions – I’ve found my balance. I have peace now. I have been listening to Oasis as I’ve been writing this, stop crying your heart out – it is a great song. Here are the lyrics.

Hold up… hold on… don’t be scared
You’ll never change what’s been and gone
May your smile… Shine on… Don’t be scared
Your destiny may keep you warm.

Because all of the stars are fading away
Just try not to worry you’ll see them some day
Take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

Get up… Come on… why you scared
You’ll never change what’s been and gone

Life is an unpredictable, uncontrollable force that will at times chew you up and spit you out and at other times build you up and place you on a mantle for you to shine while others see you. I’ve been to both ends and back, now I’m somewhere in between. I just want to live life, whatever happens is fine with me. Whether the sky falls or not, I will always be me. Why should I let stress and other’s delusions dictate how I live? I should not. So, I shall not. A burden on my life has been lifted. Have a good day everyone.

- Ryan

(something I wrote)
There are those nights where you just can’t sleep
When you wake up and you want nothing more than to weep
Those moments in silence where you slowly rise to your feet
Turning to the door, leaving, headed down the street
The silence tears you apart and breaks your heart
If there is a rest of my life, how do I start?
Thinking over the question carefully deep in thought
You wish instead of fleeing you would have fought
You’re hurt and you’re ready to surrender and leave
Staring blankly showing, there’s nothing up your sleeve
You’re out of ideas, out of inspiration, out of reason
And you’re feeling guilty as if you’ve committed treason
Walking down the rail road tracks of life with a sigh
Milkweed seed wishes from when you were a kid came here to die

Just then, when all hope seems lost the sun rises again
Then there is the startling realization today has only began
Peace of mind comes in the breeze blowing through your hair
You realize, in fact – you’re not the only one who will care

Great men, like great epochs, are explosive material in whom tremendous energy has been accumulated; their prerequisite has always been, historically and physiologically, that a protracted assembling, accumulating, economizing and preserving has preceded them – that there has been no explosion for a long time. If the tension in the mass has grown too great the merest accidental stimulus suffices to call the ‘genius’, the ‘deed’, the great destiny, into the world. – Friedrich Nietzsche

This was a page I merely opened randomly and my eyes instantly were drawn to the words – I can relate to this volatile tendency. However, volatile doesn’t necessarily equal bad. It is a fragile idea I carry, a seedling week and vulnerable – however, if allowed to grow will root firmly into the ground and it can then stand against the ages. I identify with the timing issue as well, I’ve come at a time when the mundane, lack of potential and hopeless outlook firmly held the situation. Anyway… I could carry on longer into my thoughts of this however I will leave it for now.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.” (Matthew 5:38-42, NIV)

I’m not going to battle. Rarely do I quote scripture but this is a good example – I think revenge is lame. I am not intimidated by anyone, least of all you. You are nothing to me. I feel stupid for acknowledging I even read your lame post. You are defeated.