Does anyone else feel like the world turns too slow? I’m a contradiction, I want time to hurry up but at the same time I want more hours in the day. I thought I had a lot to write about but now that I am trying to write I guess I don’t really have that much. My iPod came, it’s cool… One more gadget that I have, I think I’m starting to get too many of them. I’m going to divert much more money into savings now. Well… I need to go iron my BDUs. That’s all I’ve got.
- Ryan

What purpose does this website serve? I was asked that a while ago and I didn’t really have a good answer aside from something to do… At first it started as a way of just being fun and crazy and writing random things to try to get my own little piece of the internet pie. Unfortunately, at one point or another – life set in. At that point it became more therapeutic to write in my own forum about whatever is on my mind. Granted, I do still tread softly to avoid getting people mad – nonetheless, it helps sometimes. I’ve used it for a podcast, helping network friends, posting ideas, feelings, thoughts and so on and will continue to do so for likely many more years. Looking back it is somewhat crazy to see where I am and where I was and where I thought I’d be… certainly an unpredictable journey but I guess regret would be foolish as there is no going back. Any how.

I ordered a new iPod today, 30gb black with laser engraving on it. It took me a while to figure out what I wanted but then I decided on lyrics that tend to mirror my thoughts on life in general, “neither side is sacred, no one wants to win.” – words from Verse Chorus Verse, beautifully written by Kurt Cobain. Theres a lot more to the song but yes, it’s true… Everyone is locked in this battle in so many ways but no one is better than anyone else and no one wants to win because its human nature to have conflict. I detest human nature. I need to change genus or something. Well… anyhow, I see people from back home have stopped by. Hello, leave comments or something. Brundrett I’ll see you in school. Anyone else, hello and good night.
- Ryan

I am an American airman.
I am a warrior.
I have answered my nation’s call.

I am an American airman.
My mission is to fly, fight, and win.
I am faithful to a proud heritage,
A tradition of honor,
And a legacy of valor.

I am an American airman,
Guardian of freedom and justice,
My nation’s sword and shield,
Its sentry and avenger.
I defend my country with my life.

I am an American airman:
Wingman, leader, warrior.
I will never leave an airman behind,
I will never falter,
And I will not fail.

Now that I’m a little more, un-inebriated… I guess I can write an actual entry about something. Obviously, the aforementioned is the Airman’s creed. This is what I am bound to for 3 years 5 months more, or longer. I won’t sugar coat this week, it was rough. I had to go before a board of people who began to think I was losing my edge, thankfully – I was given another chance, and even more thankfully the military despite our picking on our brother/sister services – are one big family in the end. Its not something I see everyday but when you’re down and you are unsure of yourself its an amazing thing to be encouraged by your Senior NCOs, Army’s NCOs, and Marine NCOs. It took a hard turn and put me back into the game and put me back in front of the pack like I was in basic – I just need to keep my head in it and keep that creed in mind. Its a hard thing to do, leaving your family, friends and everything you know behind – even for civilians… Take that and multiply it by 3 and thats what it does to us. At anyrate, I am stronger now. With that being said, off I go.

- Ryan

Another week down. I like to think of them as crushing a bug, unfortunately when you crush a bug you still have many more to go… upside obviously being you killed that disgusting little bastard and you won’t have to see it again. I’m tired, did I mention that? The only thing I really need to do today is send my old phone out as I sold it on EBay for $150.00 and then go see the new Harry Potter movie. I will probably then proceed to the mall and buy something I don’t need but won’t spend that much money on it – I’m thinking about doing some podcasting stuff again just in my free time on the weekends… I don’t really have shit to say but then again I didn’t back then either. I probably can just improvise, I’d like to shoot for like 35 minutes or so. I need to find another good bull shitter on base who can talk about nothing for a long time and accomplish nothing aside from making people laugh. My foot itches, fuck. Well, I’m clearly a shining beacon of all that is good in the blogosphere right now by the unorganized thoughts being laid out so rather than continue on I guess I will wisely resign myself from this now and come back to it another time.

Good night, or good morning I guess?
- Ryan

Ps.) The new phone is awesome, keep an eye on my moblog.

It’s 3:30 AM, I’m tired and I know I have to get up relatively early but here I am typing away. Things have been rather up and down lately, but I’m hoping it is all going to level out. I decided to not purchase the iPhone and just grabbed a Sony Ericsson K790a (the phone James Bond totes around in Casino Royale) – a $350.00 purchase. My Sony Ericsson W810i is for sale on ebay – check it out. I definitely loved my walkman phone but just felt like getting something new, not many people in the US have a K790a. Money is still going into savings so I feel comfortable with a minor splurge. Well, as previously mentioned I am quite tired so I guess I will leave it at that.

Good night,
- Ryan