Once again I feel like using this as my own personal place to say what I’m really thinking.  Honestly and uncensored.  I’ve been feeling very down the past few weeks, and sometimes I think I have no one to blame but myself.  I am the ultimate example of “last guys finishing last” – of course I can be an asshole at times but really when it all boils down I’m really just the genuinely nice person who cares about everyone.  Sometimes I care too much.  I don’t know why I am this way, I dont think it is one of those things you can change either…  Obviously there was someone in my life for a very long time, and I would be lying if I didn’t think about her every day still.  3 months in Korea was all it took for it all to fall apart.  Then I dated someone else and almost though that I had found something that would work, and of course… things fell apart – I should have been more guarded and then it wouldn’t have bothered me so much.  I’m a romantic, I’m either everything or nothing I guess.  \\\ to be continued

Straylight Run – The Perfect Ending

Taken in context
It’s not a bad thing
But when you start to pick it apart
It gets so depressing
It’s that sort of thing
That makes you think too much
It’s that sort of thing
That makes you lose your objectivity

So, if you made it
Just be glad that you did and stay there
If you ever feel loved or needed
Remember that you’re one of the lucky ones
And if it’s over
Just remember what I told you
It was bound to happen
So, just keep moving on
There’s no perfect endings

You peel back the layers
And get down to the inside
But sometimes you lose sight
Of what it was you were trying to find
And it’s that sort of thing
That makes you think too much
It’s that sort of thing
That makes you lose your objectivity

So, if you made it
Just be glad that you did and stay there
If you ever feel loved or needed
Remember that you’re one of the lucky ones
And if it’s over
Just remember what I told you
It was bound to happen
So, just keep moving on
There’s no perfect endings
No perfect endings

Regina Spektor – The Call

When I was a kid I always loved The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis – so when I was in my senior year and we did that as our first play of the year I was stoked!  Even better, I got to play Edmond!  Yes, lame perhaps – but renting the old BBC movie of this when I went to my grandma and grandpa’s house and watching it with my sister Grace are some of my happiest childhood memories.  We used to pretend the coat closet was the wardrobe haha, lame kids I guess.  Anyway, when the first movie came out I loved it and now I finally have seen Prince Caspian and love it even more than the first!  It’s a great movie for everyone – one I will be sure my younger brothers get to enjoy these stories as much as I did when I was their age.  No doubts that when I have my own children they’ll know all these stories too.   If you haven’t seen this yet do it!  Also the song I put up is from the ending of the movie, it’s completely perfect for the mood.  That’s about all.

- Ryan